Requirement ..

I  am looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me :

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.

Give me a Loan, & then Leave me aLone !! 

Girl Vs Boy Texting ....

A boy sends a text

Boy : Hey

Girl (to herslf): OMG..he just txtd me..I wondr wat he wants..maybe he just wants to talk..or maybe he's mad at me, but all he said was hey.. I should jst answer him, dnt wnt to keep him waitin..well maybe I'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks I m busy..no, that's too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is  he just bored? Either way is fine, I mean I don't care if he likes me back. Who said that I even liked him?
huh.. I'm gonna text back now.
Should I reply hi or hey. Hey with 3 y's? No thats stupid. 2 y's work.
He wont know if I did it on purpose or if it was accidental.
Ok! I got this. Breathe in, breathe out.

Girl: Heyy !!!

Boy: plz mark my attendance at college!!!

Why men should not be agony aunts

A very good example exemplifying the fact that men should not try hands at being agony aunts.

Dear Dave, I left home for work yesterday and after only driving a mile down the road, my car stalled and then would not start, I had to walk all the way back home only to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter, they announced that they had been having an affair, it had been going on 2 years and that they were deeply in love. I am completely heart broken, can you help me ? I am desperate,

yours sincerely
 Tracy


And the reply ---> 
 

Dear Tracy, the most common case for vehicle breakdown in the first few miles is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause it usually the alternator, hope this helps,

Dave.

****************

 No comments :P

That Rahul !!

First things first. I am no follower or fan of Rahul Gandhi . Despite the fact that he shares the same first name as mine, i have never really taken interest in knowing more about this "Rahul". However, i recently came across this site. I can't marvell at the fact that it does give a complete list of all the things Rahul Gandhi has genuinely done for India, that am aware of !! . Whatz more interesting, is  that it is updated frequently enough to capture all the work on day to-day basis .... worth a watch for all Rahul Gandhi bashers !!!! 

No title !!

Every now and then i get into this weird mood where suddenly the most phaltu joke gives immense pleasure. So have decided to blog few "worst jokes ever" till i remain in this mood :p. So here is one of such jokes. Its a old one, but still funny.



Woman is like fruit...
Every fruit has its own taste, sweetness and colour...

The problem with men is,
They love fruit salad. ;)

Noida Moments

Yet another visit courtesy Samsung. This was an aberrant one though. Absolutely out of blue. But still ...

So morning 5:50 am  .. I ( of all the lazy people  in the world ) actually got ready in nick of time to be couriered  to the Airport. My parents were so proud of me to see me get up and get ready so early in the morning ;) . I myself can't trace the last time i did this :-D. However, more fun was awaiting. The radio cab wala simply didn't return to my calls and no one was in sight for my pick up:(. TENSION Tension Tension. After wasting some time at society's gate  ( well, not exactly wasting, i got to know the name of the watchman of our society ) i decided that enough of waiting business. I picked up my BMW ( :-D ) and hurried to the airport. I applied all my mathematis calculation skills to frantically calculate my intended average speed so as to reach airport on time !! .. Precise calculation coupled with schumacher style driving made me land at airport just in time ( Phew !! )

AirIndia doesn't show many changes since the last time i travel-led ( around 5 yrs back i guess ) with it. Celotaped edges, aircraft engine making noise such that even deaf people can hear it humming, aunties asking with a smile " would you like tea or coffee ?" .. everything is still the same :p ..

Cut to Noida:
   The first thing i felt on landing in Noida was the extreme heat. I should suggest my company to use Noida for the temparature controlled testing. 37 degree at 10 am is a total No No !! ..Even AC vehicle was falling short to give any respite. .. Bad Bad weather .. Note to self: Never ever do a domestic travel without a weather check. Be atleast mentally prepared.

Food:
   What is it with samsung office food and me ? Be it Korea or here, Samsung office food totally sucks. I was told that food is better than the one served during my short visit. I think i should let samsung know that am now on dieting and i don't eat much :P, so they should continue serving good food we me around :p.

This was a very short trip (thank god ), where i had to come back the same day. The initial 4 hours were spent so lazily that i could have defeated a snail in a race. But the last 1 hour compensated for the whole day !! .. Samsung employees finally got a glimse of speed of light by the way i was moving around to get things done !! . ..

Is that a airplane in the office ? ... or a bird in the office ? .. No No its Rahul !! , who just walked by to another workspace :-D ( the thoughts of employees around :p )

Anyways, the cherry on the cake for this trip ( and also my fav dialogue after a long time ) is the statement made by the taxi driver once we entered Noida from Delhi : Uttar Pradesh ke log utle hote hai - frustrated driver on watching a bus parked in the centre of the road which led to traffic :P


Reached home in one piece. An eventful day comes to end :)

Timepass

Had again forgotten that this part of my life exists. So another umpteenth time attempt to revive this section.

Beat this conversion !! Does the below sentence ring any bells ?

"soft flower hiding alone alcohol raised up came !! "

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.

chikni chameli chupke akeli pavva chaddha ke aayi !!



* bangs head * !!!

Don 2

After the poor debacle of RA.One, SRK owes one to Farhan Akhtar now. SRK is all stylish, sleek and super suave. This is a really good way for people to erase the traumatic memory of RA.One. Honestly.

SRK's first Don was marked to be a remake of the old classic page by page ( however ,the climax scene actually reversed the whole thing, but still ). This movie had freedom of coming out of its image of being a remake and it does justice to same. The story is pretty simple actually. Continuing from where it ends in part 1, Don ( SRK ) is now seen in Thailand. Opening scene has some fighting scenes which is just part of movie to make an entry of our hero (villian). The weird hairdo of SRK is quite funny to look at. He has all mean look btw. Don surrenders himself to Police, gets to meet his old foe Vardhan ( Boman Irani ). They plan an escape from the jail. Next up, they plot the burglary of the century. Twists and turns throughout the movie, ensure that there are not many boring scenes.

Movie has Priyanka Chopra ( Roma, who now is a police officer) and Om Puri ( Malik ) from the previous part. New entrants worth mentioning are Kunal Kapoor ( nice change i would say ) and Lara Dutta ( Replaces isha koppikar, but has even less and meaningless role. Infact her role didn't even have any oomph factor baring the one song. Waste !! )

Mission impossible , ocean's eleven, die hard, matrix -- Movies from where stills are "inspired" from in the movie. Some action scenes are really good. Car chase between SRK and Priyanka is one of them. Add to these some cheesy comments by SRK throughout the movie. and you do get an entertainment package there.

Performance wise, Its actually SRK all the way. Even a heavy star cast like Boman Irani, PC, Kunal Kapoor, Om Puri is no match to presence of SRK. In fact, hardly any scenes in movie, where SRK is not part of it. SRK has done his best to give 100% to glorify the negative role.

A perfect masala movie. SRK lovers would obviously watch it. SRK bashers, still watch the movie, worth watching i say !!

Mega reviews

I watched a couple of few movies lately and so a review toh banta hai yaar !! .. toh here it goes

I am Kalam :
Such a nice move this was. Initially i thought that this would be some children movie, but this turned out to be movie that has emotions and drama to touch heart of anyone and everyone.
The story revolves around a rajasthani boy named chottu (performed by Harsh Mayar ) who is inspired by the life of India's former president APJ Abdul Kalam , and has an undying urge to read and learn new things.

Chhotu is an intelligent boy from a poor family in Rajasthan. Born into poverty, his mother makes him work at a roadside dhaba owned by Bhati ( Gulshan Grower ). Chottu is quick to learn the tricks and languages as the dhaba is visited by many tourists. One day Chhotu watches President Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam on television and it inspires him so much that he changes his name to Kalam.

The boy brings smile to your face every time he comes on the screen. The movie showcases the problem of lack of education in rural india pretty well. It makes a point in a very good way. 5 stars for this movie !!

Zindagi Mille Na Doobara: Another good movie. Starcast itself ( read Katrina ) was enough reason to watch this one. Comparison with DCH was obvious. Story is about 3 friends who go out on a trip to relive their lives and end up facing one or other "fears" in their life. The movie is nicely connected with events in their life. Farhan's character has some good funny lines. Abhay Deol proves once again why he is such an underrated actor. He is one actor with awesome talent. Hrithik is also good. Kaifu "looks" good :-D .. guess she does justice to her role. Oh, and spain is now right up in the to -visit countries list :)


Silence of Lambs :
This was on my to watch for a long time. Finally watched it. Superb !! ..


I hate luv Storys:
Why did i watch this movie ??. Sonam, please teach her to act !!. Just looking good ain't gonna work. We already have Kaifu for that and she is done just good. I guess, this was the only reason why i started watching this movie. Note to self .. Do not judge a movie from a single song ;)

Singham :
Paisa vasool movie. Keep your head out and watch this movie. nahi tar tumchi pan sataknar ;).
Good cop thrown in land of goons where rule are made and broken to suit the goon. Cop goes berserk and decides to teach the goon a taste of its own medicine. Mediocre story, but still, movie has the entertainment tag attached with it. Marathi dialogues by Ajay are so funny. And the gravity defying action stunts are must watch. The villian too has some catchy dialogues. Dabanng had bound to have some imitation and guess Singham just started the series.


Phew !! .. I guess i should watch some hollywood movies now :-D

So google rolls out a new preview pane feature. This was one feature missing since a long time. The view now makes it quite similar to what we can get using outlook / evolution . Though it messes up the existing labels / folder listing / chat windows on the left side currently. I think, big monitor screens would be better equipped for using this setting . One more good feature !!

Chillar change ...

My mom has just become aware of the the fact that coming next month, the circulation of 25 paise coins would be stopped.


The only good part in this news for me is that my monthly pocket money would now see a hefty 100% rise and i will now get a handsome amount --- 50 Paise !! Yayyy :)

Kudos to the government !! .. Its party time ..

Error message

This is another old one ... but i kind of recalled it the other day when i was using windows machine .




There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said,

"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger !! "
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Korea Part2

If you are a proper veggie and are in korea then you are in for some royal treatment. Based on my experience of 4 months 15 days i can vaguely let you know what you should expect here.

If you fall into the category of eating food which has "no meat, no fish, no egg" category ( like i am ) then surely its difficult for you here. But you can still find the below things that can be tweaked to bring that indian taste ;)

- Lassi : You get in various flavours: common one being plain , strawberry, mango, banana. Stick to plain !! , you will never regret.

- Samosa: This varies from place to place. Though, i haven't eaten like the ones you get in india though, but the ones here are usually eatable.

- Soup: Be prepared to add salt / pepper or else you feel like you are just drinking tap water with vegetables thrown in.

- Noodles: Go to some chinese restaurant and try explaining that you want simple vegetarian stuff. You will get one.

- Pizza : Go to pizza hut, point to the size of pizza you want to eat, point to all vegetable photos placed on display and you are done !!.

- Rice: You do get plain rice here, but its sticky as koreans eat rice with chopsticks. If you are not comfortable with this kind, there is a way to get biryani type rice. Read the menu and pick up the fried rice you want. Say, it has "shrimp fried rice" , Just order "shrimp fried rice without shrimp and egg !!" ( don't forget the egg part ) and you get your good old fried rice.

- Indian hotels. I was lucky enough to be "posted" in places which had atleast one indian hotel. Though food can become monotonic after some days in such places, but you don't have to sleep on an empty stomach.

- Ice creams. One of the things that i like in korea. Baskin robbins itself has 31 different flavours. Though strawberry has monopoly in the flavours available, the thing worth is the combination flavour. I kind of like it.

- Fruits . This is the best part. You get fresh fruits in all hotels ( Watermelon / pineapple and lichee being the normal ones). Visit homeplus and you get all grocery you can ever think of.

- You do get maggie too in korea in some other brand name, but i always doubted how "vegetarian" it is. If anyone tries it, please let me know :p


Right then, this is few of the things i could think of. More so, if i happen to visit korea again, i would use this list whenever i feel hungry :p

5+ years in this field, and i still have an ocean to explore !! .. Having a great experience here courtesy my current company. Apart from food and good "people" , there is actually a lot to learn this time around ( or may be am genuinely interested this time ;).

All i want now is to have one fundoo solution for a super duper critical issue .. Will be great fun ..

Korea - Part1

This time, am travelling to Korea for some days again. I hope i don't have to stay here for long time though ;). Anyways, so just an attempt for the travelogue of this journey.

Time 5:00 pm, 4th June
This was the supposedly start, scheduled, pick up time for members for the trip, M , R and me !!. At 5:15 pm i received a call from R that M's trip was supposed to be a day before. Same flight same time, but a day earlier. PANIC , Panic , panic !! . Last moment hassles and the tickets are booked for the flight. Finally journey starts at 6:30 pm.

Time around 8 pm
We stopped at a roadside for a break. Initial discussion led to conclusion that we will just have some food packed and continue travelling to save time. However, the hungry careless people we were, we not only ate food at our leisure time, i also ordered more food, just in case we don't get good food later on

Time around 11:30 pm, mumbai Airport.
Mumbai's traffic can be sometimes such a pain in the wrong place !! . After lots of cursing and hitting people's vehicles to make way for ours, we managed to reach airport, a full 1:30 hrs behind my expectation. The automated check-in system's crew was on overtime laugh mode and he kept laughing at all questions / answers he asked / told me. Sometimes people can be so weird. Then came the declaration part at the customs. M got his electronic equipments declared first. After 15 minutes of scrutiny of all his details, his letter was duly stamped. Enter me.

Q: where are you going ?
Me: Korea

Q: So you two guys from same company
Me: Yes

Q: Ok ..go
Me: Yipee !!

Took less than a minute!!!

Lesson learnt: Piggybacking is so good :P


Time around 10 am, HongKong:
Hong Kong's airport is pretty huge with over 60 flight hangers. The 4 hours transit time was happily used by some of us ( read R) to sleep , by some ( read M ) to try and check mails, and some ( read me ) to look at all people ( gori chamdi :P ) like a baby (:P) . After the usual photo session in what-not poses, i set around to see if there was a good restaurant around.And my search operation gave good yeilds when i did find a good place where i had rice and curry . Tasted good :P ..

Next plane to Incheon
Had booked window seat so that i can doze off. However, Korean girl named Kim, who could speak english sitting right next to me :p .. 3 and half hours of bliss ;) . A segment of my love for korea got a turbo boost in this 3 hrs ;) .

Incheon Airport , 7 pm KST
We had planned to take a limousine bus from airport to the hotel. But a sudden change of heart for all three and we decided to taxi along. 45 minutes and we are in the hotel lobby. Being a foodie, one of the best part of booking in such big hotels is that you get good indian food , 24 hrs :-D , which is such a rare case in korea otherwise.


To continue ..

Feels good to see your name in linux :-D ....

Feels bad that why can't i get time to contribute more :(

Reviving !!

Its over a year and half since i visited this section. This is like my n-th attempt to bring this part back to life. Hope i do so this time around ..

The US diaries

Never in my wildest dreams i had thought that i would pen down something over here from Uncle Sam's land !!. Yes ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, i am currently traveling in US .So all of you who have missed out on sending the list of things, they want from Amreeka, here is your chance. go ahead and mail me !! ( Note -> Bringing the stuff you mentioned is purely at my discretion ;) )

Right, so what am i gonna write down here ?. As a first timer here in US, this will be purely a comparison of things here and back in India. So here we go ...

First and foremost, a well known fact. There are 4 C's you need to have ,without which life in US is quite difficult. Computer , Credit card, Cellphone and a Car. These things are considered to not only help you in emergencies, but sometimes not having one of these may put you in a very uncomfortable situation.

I happen to travel here on roads which are boarder and smoother than any roads i know of ( even certain comfortable sections of Pune - Mumbai expressway can't compete here). Also people here follow rules loyally. May be the fact that you cannot bargain, once a ticket is filed on you or because of strict rules to the extent of revoking your license for road offense. Back in my place, a paper with Gandhiji's photo on it is sufficient to overcome any problem ;)

I have been lucky enough that my basic needs of food , clothing and shelter have been taken care of here. Royally, i must add. Food wise, bay area has plenty of desi outlets to choose from. The food is good, no complains on that front :p

I was very curious to know the neighbouring places and things i could do on weekends. There are lots of places one can go around. From crowded tourist places like SanFrancisco, to hiking on MissionPeak, to driving to Las Vegas or Half Moon Bay, to the local malls, there is no dearth of things that you can explore here. Not that pune doesn't give such options, but being new to this place is adding to the curiosity level :p.

The food here is served in large proportions. And by large, i mean large !!. I always thought that i eat a lot, but am no competition here !!. Infact, it has so happened that i have thought of packing up remaining food during lunch time which was sufficient to be my dinner. And mind it, i had not ordered extra , its the normal basic quota they provided :p. May be, i have been to such hotels that serve large .Should try out more different restaurants.

This place ,where is happen to stay,is very scenic. Though, its a bit cold here with many parts of US receiving heavy snowfall, still the weather adds up to the beauty of this place. Clouds floating around the mountains make up a very pleasant view. Trees with half of their leaves dried up, don't come across as a scary landscape, but actually look awesome. But then, as they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder !! ..

Hmmm .. nothing more to comment now. Life is complete fun here, when your trip is being sponsored by your company :-D .

(Few photos here.)

The light bulb problem..

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb ??
































None , ... its a hardware problem !!

Change in time ..

When i was a kid, an elderly person had asked me few questions. Namely :

Q: If a japanese guy opens a school in maharashtram what wuld he name it ?

A : Ya shikha

(For those not understanding marathi,it means "come and learn" ).


Q: If a chinese guy opens a tea shop in maharashtra, what wuld he name it ?

A : Phun kun pi

( Again,in marathi, it means "blow air before you drink" the hot tea)


Right , so those PJs felt a great deal at that time and i enjoyed telling it to everyone i could get hold of. Even my alien friends !!! .

Today i met a person, who had named her baby girl "Yashika" !! .. My first reaction was laughter .. How times change ? . People first named there kids with meaningful names. These days kids names need to be unique, meaning has got less or no importance at all. May be there will be time when absurd things like chemical formulaes would be used to name kids.

Hmmm ... what should i name my kids ?? Just Incase ? Dan Druff? he he ..